Thoughts From a Father

When Amber and I announced that she was pregnant. We were met with so much enthusiasm by our family and friends. But the one thing that stood out to me was my father saying "it's the best thing you will ever do. Nothing else on earth compares to being a parent". For a man who was always gifted with gab I think he put it about the best way possible. I know this blog is for Addison but please allow me use this tool to express thoughts on being a father.
Being a father is the hardest thing I have ever done and the most rewarding all in the motion. The million "what ifs " that play in your head, all the concerns you have for the well being of your child, how when she cries you would give your very breath so that she wouldn't feel an once of pain.
Now I certainly know that I have so much to learn and that this journey hasn't even crossed the starting line. I know that mistakes are going to happen. I know that whatever road Addison takes in life I will be right beside her with all the love and support I can give. I think what I am eluding to here is that much like when you see a duck on water smoothly moving along and looking graceful, what you don't see is his feet peddling as hard as he can. I have felt much like that duck for the past few months. Constantly trying to figure out how I, with all my flaws and mistakes, how I will somehow wrangle the Sun and the Moon so that I may give my daughter everything she deserves.

The First of Many

After a whirlwind that was the last 4 days, Addie's first Christmas has now come to a end. Although not the best logistical Christmas I do believe Addison got to see all 59 family members. Amber and I were so excited for Addie's first Christmas, essentially because she will never have another and because it marked a milestone in the short life. In reflection of the past few days, it was so awesome to see how wonderful of a family we have. How everyone jumped thru hoops and did all they could to put a smile on her face and help Amber and I out. I do believe the most amusing part to me was whenever she made a noise watching how many people would jump up and want to take care of her....if only everyday we were so lucky! We were overcome with everyone generosity towards us and towards Addie. When I was a child, every Christmas, my parents would say how spoiled we were and that we got way too much. I never believed them. Now watching all the gifts that Addie received I see their point. However, I do not see things changing for quite some time.

To all the family reading this, THANK YOU. You mean so much to Amber and I and we are so lucky to have such a strong support team and Addison is so fortunate to have a family who wants to do as much as they can for her. I hope as parents Amber and I can instill in Addie how important family is and how blessed she is to have all these people in her life.

When Addie Smiles

I find myself spending more and more time falling all over myself and inventing new ways just to make Addison smile. It’s strange how a gesture as simple as a smile can make the entire world disappear. How for that brief instant you have no worries, no troubles, no concerns. There is no war, no disappointment, democrats are not in office and the Falcons are not in last place. The feeling I get as a father watching my daughter smile cannot be described in words. The warmth that comes over your heart when that face lights up feels like God patting you on the back and saying “good job”. When Addison was born, when I first laid eyes on her, I used the description, that like watching a pitcher fill up with water, I could feel my heart filling up with love. That get that exact feeling everyday when Addie smiles at me. To see Amber hold Addison is my verification that God loves me. I can’t believe that I have been given such a wonderful gift.

Merry Christmas!

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In a constant state of confusion and bliss

Watching Amber lay in a hospital bed for 5 days brought on so many emotions. Being on my toes for close to a week you learn what you are made of but more importantly I learned what Amber was made of. I can Honestly say that I have such a new respect for my wife and how strong a woman she is for going thru that difficult week and never complaining once. I can also say that for the first time in my life I was so overcome with the grandeur of God. That he could make such a miralce like that happen and that he Loved Amber and I enough to give us such a wonderful blessing.
The past 111 days have been quite an adventurous journey for Amber and I. However With each and every day that passes we figure out more and more about ourselves and Addie. Our hearts are so full of love for this little girl. I think the biggest undertaking for the 2 of us has been the realization that we are "oficially' adults now and that all the decision making comes down to us. I think, well I know, for the most part I take into account way too much and think of the magnitude of our decisions way too much. I constantly find myself wondering if i am making the right decision and calling my parents for some sort of backup to make sure i am doing what is right.
Addison has brought Amber and I closer on so many levels and depened our relationship. Although we found out really soon that life no longer depends on what we want but what Miss Addisons' needs or wants at that time. We try our best to always keep a positive attitude and to realize how awesome this blessing from God is. We are so fortunate for Addison to have the health that she does (for her mothers looks) and for us to have the careers to be able to provide for her. I find myself being drawn closer to my parents now for realizing how much they sacrificed and did for my sisters and myself for us to have all the advantages in life. I also find myself podering if I will be as good of a father as mine was. When I was younger my mother used to sing "one day at a time". I guess thats all we can do, is live life one day at a time and do the best we can that day. The mistakes we make one day we try not to repeat them and what we've learned, we use that knowledge in our decisions for the future.

We are officially blogging...

Hey Everyone!
We decided to set up a blog forAddie updates rather than sending out emails to everyone and filling up inboxes. From now on, just come to the webpage periodically and we will update with pictures and stories. Hopefully this will make it easier for everyone to see what's going on in our lives!