In a constant state of confusion and bliss

Watching Amber lay in a hospital bed for 5 days brought on so many emotions. Being on my toes for close to a week you learn what you are made of but more importantly I learned what Amber was made of. I can Honestly say that I have such a new respect for my wife and how strong a woman she is for going thru that difficult week and never complaining once. I can also say that for the first time in my life I was so overcome with the grandeur of God. That he could make such a miralce like that happen and that he Loved Amber and I enough to give us such a wonderful blessing.
The past 111 days have been quite an adventurous journey for Amber and I. However With each and every day that passes we figure out more and more about ourselves and Addie. Our hearts are so full of love for this little girl. I think the biggest undertaking for the 2 of us has been the realization that we are "oficially' adults now and that all the decision making comes down to us. I think, well I know, for the most part I take into account way too much and think of the magnitude of our decisions way too much. I constantly find myself wondering if i am making the right decision and calling my parents for some sort of backup to make sure i am doing what is right.
Addison has brought Amber and I closer on so many levels and depened our relationship. Although we found out really soon that life no longer depends on what we want but what Miss Addisons' needs or wants at that time. We try our best to always keep a positive attitude and to realize how awesome this blessing from God is. We are so fortunate for Addison to have the health that she does (for her mothers looks) and for us to have the careers to be able to provide for her. I find myself being drawn closer to my parents now for realizing how much they sacrificed and did for my sisters and myself for us to have all the advantages in life. I also find myself podering if I will be as good of a father as mine was. When I was younger my mother used to sing "one day at a time". I guess thats all we can do, is live life one day at a time and do the best we can that day. The mistakes we make one day we try not to repeat them and what we've learned, we use that knowledge in our decisions for the future.